If you're like 99.9% of America you must be asking yourself who is Russell Brand and why is he even being mentioned on such an important blog as this. Well, we don't know who he is either but we do know, luckily, he's not an American and he is blatantly unintelligent. He's being mentioned on our blog because he's a true putz.

It seems this British boob is a small time comedian that hosted the very socially relevant MTV video music awards. Are those still on? On a station that no longer plays videos? Weird.

Anyhoo, this rat haired bloke brought his lame comedy act to the States and it went something like this... live on the MTV video music awards... really...

"Now, as a representative of the global community and a visitor from abroad, I don't want to come across a little bit biased, but could I please ask of you people of America, to PLEASE ELECT BARACK OBAMA. Please! On behalf of the world. Some people, I think they're called racists, say that America is not ready for a black president. But I know America to be a forward-thinking country, right. Because, otherwise, you know, would you have let that retarded cowboy fellow be president for eight years?

We were very impressed. It was nice of you to let him have a go. Because in England, George Bush wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.

I am obliged by broadcasting law to show some balance in this situation, which means, uh, the Republicans might be alright. Sarah Palin. She's a VILF! A vice president I'd like to... fumble, fondle, I dunno. I do feel a little bit sorry for her daughter, getting pregnant, poor kid. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? It's a P.R. stunt. Come on. Be honest.

And I feel most sorry for that poor teenaged father. Boy. One minute, he's just a teenaged lad in Alaska having joyful, unprotected sex. And the next minute: Get to the Republican convention. I think that is the best safe sex message of all time. Use a condom or become Republican! That boy will spend the rest of his life masturbating while wearing a condom...

...New music, new president, and brand new America. And you people deserve it after eight years of Bush. I promise you, you deserve it..."

Um.. okay. Hey Sir Brand, that was so funny, gosh, now I'm really going to run out and vote for B.O. because you said so and you're just so... so... Britishish.

And thanks MTV!! Wow you guys rule. Nice choice of hosts. Was P Diddy too busy investing if there are blacks in Alaska? Was Rosie too busy hanging upsde down like a bat? Was Michael Moore too busy filming a documentary on why Hollywood is soo much smarter than the rest of America?

Labels: Russell Brand